I figure I'll give you guys an update on my hair pulling . . .
So I spent another 5 hours yesterday and 2 more today. I think I finally got the member tutorials working.
Feel free to try and test it out now.
It still has this bug I'm trying to figure out, causing the word 'Array' to appear at the top left of every page. I suspect its a theme update problem, so I just need to manually look at the code line-for-line and see whats up . . .
I still haven't figured out how to get the bugs out of the forum, and apparently other SMF forum owners have reported the same bugs.
As for the auto-backup stuff . . . I use Plesk to access everything, and my web coding ability is enough to get by but not much more.
Can you guys send me an example script that accesses a DB for backup? The forum is huge, and so if it does the MySQL gzip option even better.